


Thoughts of a dying man

by MademoiselleLierre



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Canon Age Difference, F/M, Mixed up the book and TV canon a little, Slight Canon Divergence, implied SanSan, unrequited feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-21 23:25:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9571565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MademoiselleLierre/pseuds/MademoiselleLierre
Summary: "Dying was taking way to long for his own taste.“Stupid brat!” he muttered, his teeth chattering.Instead of being consequent… instead of showing respect or even pity she had left. Left him to either bleed or freeze to his lonely death. [...]"





	

It had started to rain. Moments or hours ago… he couldn’t tell. He didn’t care. He was cold and he was pissed! Dying was taking way to long for his own taste.  
“Stupid brat!” he muttered, his teeth chattering.  
Instead of being consequent… instead of showing respect or even pity she had left. Left him to either bleed or freeze to his lonely death.  
“Ungrateful little shit… I should’ve left you behind long ago, you little pest! Should’ve left you to die with your brother! Or somewhere in the wilderness… I… should’ve… taken your sister with me instead…”  
His voice had turned into a faint whisper and the thought of Sansa made him choke any further insult against Arya.  
Cheeky little Arya. Brave young girl. Brave… and broken. Maybe he had asked too much of her. She was still a child after all and maybe, just maybe, she wasn’t even hating him anymore. Not enough to kill him at least. Maybe she had grown accustomed to him just as he did to her.  
“Gods… what’s that thing with the Stark girls?” Sandor thought, “Strange enough for me to like one of them. Strange enough for me to like any childish young girl…”  
Maybe it was because they weren’t just that. Maybe it was because he had seen something more in them.  
He couldn’t shake off the memories of Sansa and Arya fighting, yet loving and caring for each other. Caring for their brothers and parents and even for their pets. Maybe that was the whole thing, at least in the beginning. Maybe some part of him had wanted to be part of that, of something whole, of a family.  
In some way, he even had become a part of it. He had become something like a caretaker or an older brother for Arya but only because the family wasn’t whole and happy anymore. And after all he had been no better brother for Arya than Gregor had been for him. Well, except one thing maybe.  
And Sansa? It had been quite another story with her. What had she become for him? And what had he become for her? Certainly, not a brother… A guard, maybe. A rather shitty protector.  
“I really should’ve taken her with me when I left. I should’ve been more to her than just that” he thought, “More than just… just…”  
He couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore. They’d become so heavy.  
“Finally,” he sighed.  
In his memories, he could hear her singing for him and with that he drifted off into a peaceful sleeplike state.

Sunlight was warming his face and a soft breeze carried familiar scents and a sweet melody.  
So… death wasn’t what he had hoped for but it wasn’t too bad either. Actually, it was a lot like dreaming and Sandor couldn’t recall a time he had experienced anything else but nightmares.  
He shifted slightly and immediately felt a sharp pain rushing through his body. Definitely not what he had hoped for! He groaned.  
The next thing he felt was a small hand taking his own and holding it firm and gently at the same time. And another one softly resting on his arm, comforting him.  
Maybe this was better than what he had hoped for after all.  
“Little bird… Sweet, sweet little Sansa” he thought. It had to be her. He couldn’t think of anyone else.  
He forced himself to open his eyes, knowing that it might put an end to this dream or whatever it was. He just… He had to see her one last time. And there she was. Just a silhouette against the blinding daylight, but it was her and he could feel that she was smiling at him. He smiled, too. Or at least he tried. The light began to hurt his eyes and even though he tried to resist the urge he had to blink. Once, twice and she was gone.  
It took Sandor a few more moments to realize the following things:  
He was still alive and he was still lying somewhere in the mountains. But he wasn’t alone anymore. There was a small red bird sitting on his hand and another one on his arm. The little thing seemed to be asleep, head tucked under its wing. Sandor also spotted several other birds on the rocks and meadow around him but there was something else… Something more important. He tried to turn his head a little so he could see who or what was moving next to him.  
“Please don’t move, Ser!” a gentle male voice warned him, “You’re badly wounded. I’ll take care of your arm first and then I’ll check if your ribs and back are injured too. I fear you’ll have to hold still ‘til I’m done. Can you do that? Or will you need something to get back to sleep, Ser?”  
Sandor wanted to say something in response, wanted to ask the other man who in seven hells he was, but he still felt kind of dizzy. So, he just remained silent, watched how the little birds started to become more active and how the whole flock took off into the clear winter sky at once.  
“They had found you before I did, you know” said the man and continued to set the fracture on Sandor’s left arm, “And they stayed by your side until you woke up.”  
He sounded like someone who was lost in his thoughts. Like he was talking more to himself than with his patient but Sandor didn’t care.  
“They are heading south, like everyone these days” continued the man after a while, “Were you heading the same way, Ser?”  
Sandor huffed.  
“I am no Ser” he choked out, “And if you wouldn’t mind… I really want to go back to sleep.”  
He closed his eyes and drew a deep, painful breath.  
So… he was still alive. Bloody brilliant…


End file.
